Here we go:
- Hey, I didn't just fall off a turnip truck, you know?
- How yawl doing?
- Whar you going? Over yonder.
- Hotter than a pepper sprout
- You ain't just a whistling Dixie
- I'm a fixin to go over yonder
- Slow as molasses
- If I'm lying they ain't a cow in Texas and they say that's a heifer range
- Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit
- Happier than a pig in slop
- As full as a tick
- Where did Matt go? he went to "crap" and the hogs ate him (notice I substituted crap for the real word)
- It's hotter than a whore in church
- It's colder than a weld digger's behind
- One brick short of a load
- Honey, that dress sure is pretty, did your mama make it?
- Slicker than owl sh.t....
- Cold day in hell
- Snowball's chance in hell
- Busier than a one-legged man in a arz kicking contest
- He ain't got the sense God give a billy goat
- Why (Y) that baby is cuter than speckled pup
- Rode hard and put up wet
- S//t fire and save the matches
- In high cotton
- High on the hog
- She plum forgot her raising
- She's stuck up
- Grinin like a mule
- Tighter than a drum
- She'd argue with a fence post
- Going off half-cocked
- Who ruffled her feathers?
- She was squealin and carryin on like a stuck hog
- In a coon's age
- Chewin the fat
- Well, I do declare
- If I'm lying I'm dying
- Yea, he let his mouth overload his butt
- Bump on a log
- Hey, sweetie, don't count your chickens before they hatch
- She was all over him like white on rice
- Well shut my mouth
- Oh, yes, they are like two peas in a pod
- Right near here
- Oh, it's a far piece
- By and by
- Honey, you want a glass of sweet milk? What about some sweet tea?
- Bless her heart, she can't drive worth a flip
- Bless her heart, I knew her Mama made that dress
- Oh, yea, it's just down the road
- Girl, you better act like you got some raisin
- Hey, honey, this is just between you, me and the fencepost, got that?
- Alright
- Did yawl see that girl? She is built like a brick shithouse
- Hey, close that NEWMonia hole
- Were you raised in a barn?
- Don't let that door hit you in the behind on your way out
- Close that door, you're letting the flies out
- He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn
- Hey, don't look a gift horse in the mouth
- Yea, he don't know his ass from a hole in the ground
- Yes, he was drunker than cooter brown
- Hey, bring me that thing a ma jig, you know that wha cha ma call it
- Hey, get your butt off of your shoulders
- She is hog wild and pig crazy
- Hey, I'm going over yonder and I'll be back directly
- You better grab that bull by the horns
- Where's my do-hickey at
- Hey, I ain't got no axe to grind
- He couldn't carry a tune in a lard bucket
- Hey, growing up we didn't have a pot to pee in or a window to sling it out
- He looks like something the dogs drug in
- He's so tight he's got every penney he earned
- You cannot get blood out of a turnip
- Hey, you're talking my ear off
- He's about as sharp as a tack
- He's about as useful as tits on a boar hog
- Hey, roll on cat shit, someone's gonna come along and lick you up
- He's older than dirt
- He's higher than a Georgia pine
- Gosh, look at her, she looks rougher than a corn cob
- Oh, yea, she was three sheets to the wind
- I ain't seen you in a month of Sundays
- I'm so hungry I could eat the ass out of a billy goat
- Honey, I don know'd him since he was knee high to a bean post
- Oh, yea I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off
- Honey, I wouldn't trust him any further than I could throw him
- If bullshit were music, sweetie, we'd have a brass band going here, don't you think?
- Oh, whatever, and if a bullfrog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass when he jumped
- I'm telling you he's dumber than a truck
- Girl, if you don't stop that cryin right now, I'm gonna give you something to cry about, ya hear?
- Hey, I'm gonna jerk a knot in your tail
- Well, alright, I'll see you if the Good Lord's willing and the creek don't rise
- I'm too old to cut the mustard
- Oh, that'll go over like a lead balloon
- Oh, that'll last as long as a fart in a whirlwind
- Ain't no skin off my nose
- Yea, she's bout knee high to a grasshopper
- Hold your horses, there little lady
- Much obliged
- Hey, baby, now we're shittin in high cotton
- Don't rain on my parade
- She's throwin one of her hissy fits
- Honey, Jesus Christ himself couldn't please her
- Look at that, two pigs in a poke
- Honey, you've got more nerve than Carter's got a little liver pill
- More nerve than a bad tooth
- Oh, honey, I've been wound up tighter than a eight day clock
- Ain't that a sight for sore eyes
- Honey, somebody beat that kid with an ugly stick
- Yes, I got my Sunday go to meetin clothes on
- Well that just takes the cake!
- Yes, I'm afraid I'm goin up a shit crick without a paddle purty quick
- Well' I'll swaney
- Well, he's got the same britches to get glad in
- That's just down rite sorry
- Young lady, you better straighten up and fly right
- Hey, you're ass is grass
- Now, who in the sam hill was that?
- She was all over him like a duck on a Junebug
- Great day in the mornin
- Don't cut your eyes at me
- How ya'll doing
- Hey, I'll slap you seven ways into Sunday
- Girl, I've been busier than a pegged leg sailor in a butt kickin contest
- Honey, she ain't no spring chicken
- Now that you know the way, don't be such a stranger
- Hey, now, that old dog want hunt no more
- Dadgum it
- You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink
- He's slower than Joe's old turkey
- Oh, he's a goober
- Ain't no haint gonna run me off
- He's a cute little fellar
- Yan't me to tote it for you?
- Yep, his pilot lite went out along time ago
- He's just plum honery
- Pert nert
- I brought you into this world and I can take you right out, if you don't straighten yourself right on up, how
- Heaven's to betsy
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